Officiating

I'm going to give you this disclaimer, right off the bat: I am an official, a ref and an umpire.

Many officials base their knowledge of a sport on how they used to play it. Many officials take classes and go through extensive training. Some have known to be biased. Some have known to let things go. Others are extremely strict and follow the rules by the book, regardless of who you are. Some are intense and hard core. Others are push-overs and easy to argue with. But however officials officiate; they are the official, which is why they are called officials.

My interest in officiating began as an athlete, umpiring baseball and softball in the summers as a teenager. In college, I began working at the Intramural Office at the University of Colorado. Officials were needed. I became a broomball supervisor, inner-tube water polo official and most exciting, a dodgeball official.

Dodgeball at CU can be the most competitive sport at CU (even comparable to DI football), it just depends on the teams that are playing. Some teams yell at their opponent, curse and attempt to intimidate the weaker players. Some teams react with comments like, "dude, it's just dodgeball...chill out." Others respond with yo momma comments or even worse profanity than they received.

The thing about dodgeball is that it is fun. It is competitive. A game can look like you will lose, but all of a sudden a basket is made and your whole team is back in the game. It can change at any instance. That's why people like it. It's not over 'til its over.

But many times the officials pay. We call rules like crossing the center line and the guy who threw it yells in my face. I give him a warning. Fair enough. The next time, I call him out because he's trying to cheat, saying he blocked it with the ball, when it clearly hit him in the shoulder. He argues. I say sit down. The third time he reaches over the line as a sub to retrieve a ball, I make him give it to the other team. He complains with insulting comments toward my character. I throw him out of the game. He wonders why.

Don't mess with the refs. Treat them with respect and they will treat you with respect. I pride myself on being a skilled, fair, unbiased official and when people say I think the guy on the other team is cute and that's why I didn't call him out, it's wrong. When they say I don't like that guy because he pissed me off last game, it's wrong. Each game is new, each game I'll give you a chance. But I remember the times you spit on my face while you were yelling at me, or the times you called me a bitch under your breath. I'm not afraid to throw you out...

But my officiating isn't just in organized sports. I am an unofficial rule interpreter for the card game CANASTA, I hosted an oil wrestling competition, where I was the ref, solely to entertain the audience. I've also officiated a Beirut Tournament, to ensure the alcohol-impaired contestants weren't cheating. People keep asking me to officiate because of my technique and reputation as an official. It's fun, so I keep doing it.

Just keep in mind though, that refs, umpires and officials are people too. Not just someone to piss you off or change the pace of a game. I can't be bribed. I can't be bought. So don't try.